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Saturday, April 19, 2014

Birchbox Man April 2014

As promised, I let my boyfriend review his Birchbox Man box.  I let him have full creative license so please enjoy!  Birchbox Man is $20/Month.  Click Here to sign up!


Hello there. 

When I was asked to be a guest reviewer of this month’s Birchbox my first thought was, ‘Is that some kind of fried chicken meal deal at KFC?’ and then my girlfriend explained to me that she had said ‘Birchbox’ and not, to my slight disappointment, ‘Bird-box’.  While the actual Birchbox contained no fast food items or delicious sides, the treasure inside was greater than anything you’d find on an Extra Value Menu.  

The items collected in this box are as follows:

A vial of genuine Atelier Cologne that makes Axe Body Spray smell like something a dyspeptic Hobo would spray after using a truck stop bathroom in Mumbai.  This item isn’t something that would normally be in my price range (Full size bottles can cost anywhere from $75-$100) but, if I could, I would wear it out for an exciting night of intrigue and mystery.  

Naturaltech Energizing Shampoo smells great and feels as refreshing as a minty Breath Strip on a winter day. As a virile male with a magnificent shock of thick, lustrous hair, I was a little off put by the description which says that it’s “for scalp and fragile, thinning hair" but then, I guess most sophisticated males are not as blessed.  While I’m quite fond of the shampoo itself, I do not like how the bottle is prone to pour large amounts out at one time.  

Hanz de fuko Claymation
Unfortunately this Claymation isn’t the kind that brought us the likes of Gumby or The California Raisins (and to a lesser extent, Davey and Goliath).  In actuality it’s a hair styling wax that maintains shape even on the windiest of days.  In fact, the first time I tried it was the same day my girlfriend and I went to out to the park to fly kites.  She and her roommate were quite amused at how my hair kept it’s shape while flopping in the wind.

Vasanti Cosmetics Brighten Up! Exfoliating Cleanser
Something I’ve come to accept about myself is that I have the pores of a 14 year old on school picture day.  So I need a facial scrub that will keep my face clean of my own disgusting fingerprints.  This fancy face wash does the job well enough while smelling like fresh papaya and tasting like aloe hand cream.  I additionally like the how the scrub has micro-crystals to exfoliate my face (although, I would not recommend using on your eyes).

And the T-shirt, well, it’s a T-shirt.  But it’s a nice t-shirt (courtesy of Alternative Apparel).  Light and comfortable to wear around the house yet stylish enough to wear out to your favorite casual dining chain.  I think it’d be better if it had an ironic saying or a logo from discontinued soda printed on it, but that’s just me.

Altogether, this Birchbox was the best one I’ve ever had and am quite impressed by the variety of high-quality products for today’s modern man.    

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